The Shorter the Skirt, the Higher the Kick

Guttural writing and interactive mind games from 'the sweetest girl on the Internet'. No minors or morally outraged, please! ;-)

Presentation: My Sister



Here's my revenge photo of Becky for making my new Internet friends think I was naked. Like her, I barged into the room and caught her (almost) unaware. I won't show you the whole picture, but this photo should give me enough firepower to make her think twice before fooling me again into publishing embarrassing pictures. Ma-ha-ha-hah...

4 bounce-backs:

Anonymous Anonymous says...,

You and your sister both look cute. Do you do double acts?

 
Blogger Jakob says...,

Thank you! I am not sure what you mean by 'double acts', but we both play instruments (violin and piano), and since Dad has been alone with the two of us for most of the last eight years, we usually provide musical entertainment (as well as cooking and company) together at his dinner parties.

 
Anonymous Anonymous says...,

Ayea, the wellbehaved Short Skirt Sisters, as we like to call you :-). I thought it might be you, tho you both grown a little. Remember me? Last time we met I helped you with the dishes, and you each got a little something in the kitchen for all your dandy waitress work. Give my regards to your father. I know him very well.

 
Blogger Jakob says...,

If you are the person I think, (and please excuse me if I am mistaken) the only little something I remember getting from you left a black and blue mark for about a week. Anyway, what happens in the kitchen stays in the kitchen, and the same applies to the Internet, don't you think? There really is no reason to bother Dad with anything you or I might have seen while surfing the Web, is there Sir?

 

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Diary: Oh by the way...Hello!



Welcome to my new blog! Since we recently moved to a new country I have a bit of time on my hands while finding a job or an education and getting to know new people, so I decided to honestly and openly share any new 'coveries with you, my still faceless Internet friends.



It’s not all lonely idling, though – my best friend is here too, since her father is a colleague of Dad’s, and I have become deeply engaged in raising money to support XMLive. The days of big corporations and governments guarding information in locked vaults are about to end, but these dinosaurs fight back more aggressively than ever. Today, anyone should be able to find and use the tools needed to create what you uniquely desire; be it a new piece of art or music, an intrusion detection system adapted to your abode, or a customized game. Still, the big bullies try to force us to stick to their bloated, mass-produced, general-purpose instruments, and prevent us from changing them to suit our needs. As you probably notice, I have strong feelings about this since I believe there is room for much more happiness in this world, and I hope you will join my support for XMLive and other, similar initiatives.



Enough with the preaching for now; I relax too. Last night we rented one of my favorite old horror flicks, Jacob’s Ladder. Everyone in my family likes it. It is almost as old as me, so you should have had plenty of time to see it, but if you still haven’t and plan to, you might want to skip the rest of this post, since it contain some movie spoilers.



George Bush has made a great summary of the movie plot on IMDB, so I’ll just quote him (thanks George):



"The opening scene in Jacob's Ladder takes place during the Vietnam War. A small group of US soldiers are joking around, but suddenly they are attacked by the enemy (apparently)! As the attack starts some of the GI's suffer from strange attacks and everything turns into chaos. Jacob Singer (Tim Robbins) is wounded by a bayonet but we don't see by who and why. The rest of the movie revolves around this day and what really happened.

Singer drops to the ground in Vietnam and we are taken to New York. The war is over and Singer has recovered from his wound and is now working as a postman even though he took a PhD before going to Vietnam. The reason: After the war he "didn't want to think anymore". He has left his wife Sarah, and now lives with his girlfriend Jezebel (Elizabeth Peña). Sarah and Jacob had three children together, but one, Gabe (Macaulay Culkin), was killed in an automobile accident before Jacob went to Vietnam.


Jacob suffers from eerie attacks in which he is hunted by inhuman beings. At a party he has one of his attacks and he sees Jezebel dancing and having sex with a demon on the dance floor (looks like something from a hentai cartoon). One day Jacob receives a call from one of his old Vietnam buddies. He suffers from the same attacks, and he is convinced it's demons and he's going to hell. He is freed from his torment when his car blows up just after he and Jacob parted. It turns out that the whole platoon is suffering from the same attacks, and they believe that the army must have done something to them. They ask a lawyer, Geary (Jason Alexander), to take their case and he initially accepts.


Now the movie turns momentarily into a government conspiracy thriller, because Jacob learns that his army buddies have abandoned the case and so has the lawyer. Jacob is pretty sure that the army has pressured them out. He is proved correct when he himself is forced into a car for a 'friendly' conversation with a couple of government thugs. Jacob fights them off and jumps out of the car. The landing hurts his weak back and he is taken to a hospital (after he has been robbed by Santa Claus, who steals the wallet with Jacobs only picture of Gabe). The movie is also known, as Dante's Inferno and we understand why when Jacob arrives at the hospital. This is my favorite scene in the movie – as if hospitals weren't scary enough… There are limbs and blood all over the place and strange and deform people crowd the hallways. The Evil Doctor (deservingly credited as such on IMDb!) tells Jacob that he's dead. Louis (Danny Aiello) who is Jacob's chiropractic gets him out.

Home again Jacob is contacted by Michael (Matt Craven) who worked as a chemist for the US army in Vietnam. He tells the story about The Ladder – a drug designed to turn soldiers into killing machines. The drug was first tested on animals and Vietcong soldiers with incredible and scary results – Jacob's platoon was the first US test subjects. They turned mad and killed each other! In this scene Lyne proves that the imagination is far better than any images when Michael tells about the drug testing – Michael never thought people could do such things to each other…

Earlier in the movie Louis told Jacob (which is the essential quote of the movie):
"Eckhart saw Hell too. He said: The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away. But they're not punishing you, he said. They're freeing your soul. So, if you're frightened of dying and... and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth".


Now Jacob returns to the house where he lived with Sarah. His dead son, Gabe, comes to get him. Hand in hand with Gabe, Jacob walks up the stairs into the light. The demons have turned into angels and Jacob is in heaven! Now we are taken back to Vietnam where Jacob dies in a MASH unit – the doctors couldn't do anymore, but they notice how peaceful Jacob looks. The only REAL things in the movie was the first and the last scene – the rest was a dream/hallucination/divine intervention…"



Funny, this is exactly how I would have described the movie too (if I were as clever as George), and like most fans of this movie I thought that the 'government conspiracy thriller' part was weak, and detracted from the real theme of this film, (Jacob Singer having visions of a post-war life while he's dying in Vietnam) – until last night, when I saw something else.



After the war, Singer has let his hair grow, dropped out from his academic career, and left his model family for a different-cultured working-class girl; in short, he has become A Protester. But monsters keep chasing him. (In fact, there is an omitted scene on the DVD where Singer, after having been told about the 'government experiment' causes of his demons, gets an 'antidote', confirming that he is right in Protesting – but this causes even more terrifying visions.) He can’t free himself from the demons until he recognizes Jezebel’s evil nature and returns to his nice house (driven there by a cab driver with a crucifix and a Virgin Mary figure on the dashboard) to reunite with his 'dead son'.



So the final scene of Singer dying back in Vietnam might not be him REALLY dying then at all, but just his innocence and beliefs in government and authorities – but apparently, they can be restored, and he won’t find peace until they are.



Seeing the movie this way made me think differently about it, about my family and about why we all love the movie. Who knows, I might be growing up? Then again, I'm off now to have some Rocky Road, (we're out of Haagen-Dasz) so maybe not.


4 bounce-backs:

Anonymous Anonymous says...,

XMLive looks promising. If i donate $50 (havent got more) and send you a Donor Information message will you reply to me?

 
Blogger Jakob says...,

Great if you want to help me supporting XMLive, and I will be happy to discuss other ways you can do it in too, but if you just want to mail me, click 'Email' under 'Contact' in my profile – I answer as many mails as I can, and it's free.

 
Anonymous Anonymous says...,

Interesting take on Jacob's Ladder. I think it is one of the most underrated movies of the 90s, but I never thought of it your way. Another thing: Are you uh, naked in your profile portrait?

 
Blogger Jakob says...,

Gosh no *blush* - does it look like that? It's my cheeky sister's fault; I asked her to take a picture of me for 'a homepage' (nobody knows I'm blogging), and she just stuck her head in without knocking and got a shot while I was painting my toenails, but I had a BIG towel wrapped around me. I coaxed her into cropping 'anything revealing' from the image, but maybe that was a mistake. I'll get back at her!

 

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Topic: Support XMLive!


XMLive is a new open-algorithm initiative to break the stranglehold by Micro$oft and a few others on free communication and resource-sharing over the Internet. It is an XML-based 'middle layer' for Internet-based applications and services, which, unlike existing programming, content, and discovery services, is based on transparent, reusable 'building blocks', modifiable by anyone without needing programming skills and specific operating systems.


Open-source initiatives like Linux are fine, but if an open-source program is like a dish you order in a restaurant, where it is possible to identify the ingredients, add seasoning to your liking, and decide on an appetizer and a dessert to accompany it, an open-algorithm combination is like a smorgasbord, where you can load anything you like on your plate, and come back for seconds as much as you want.




This might be the most important initiative in years, but it still lacks funding so help supporting it by clicking on the heart below the ‘View my complete profile’ link to the right in order to make a donation.

The donation is securely handled by PayPal, but you don’t need to be a PayPal member to use it (although it takes about two minutes to become one.) – direct credit card payments are fine too, and although the donation is in US dollars, you can use any currency. Your money will be routed to XMLive via Actif.TV, one of the main XMLive sponsors, but if you want to send a message just to me, enter it under ‘Donor Information:’; I will receive your message by direct e-mail.



Every dollar counts!


2 bounce-backs:

Anonymous Anonymous says...,

Frustrating lack of public XMLive docs. Any pointers? How do you become a member?

 
Blogger Jakob says...,

The best way to direct questions like that is probably to e-mail info@actif.tv

 

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Announcement: Take the Shirt off My Back



Again: Thank you so much for all your comments and e-mails, both the traditional ones and the less traditional ones. (The other week, I got a mail containing three pictures of different kinds of fairly plastic shoes with very high heels, presumably copied from some fashion websites, together with my own drawing of myself naked, duplicated twice, with my whole body smeared black - probably the remnants of a botched attempt to expand my Dress Me Up game, but somehow quite...sexy.) I have received many compliments and questions about the illustrations to some of my blog posts. To answer the two most common questions:


  1. Yes, I do the pictures myself.

  2. No, so far there has been no way to buy the original drawings or reproductions of them.


Now I have decided to change number 2 above; I'm opening a shop for clothes and items decorated with artwork and quotes from my blog, and I'll (try to) update it continuously with any noteworthy new stuff from me. I don't expect to make a lot of money from it, but I still do it in the hope of some day seeing a bearded macho man with a 'Dress Me Up' trucker hat, or meeting an office woman with a 'Does God Watch When I Masturbate?' coffee mug on her desk. Then my work would be done...


So come on; go there, get my clothes and get inside me in public! I dare you... ;-)