Diary: This Day

Sweden has been hot the last week, far too hot for a country with floor heating and hot water-warmed towel hangers but no AC. All I want to do right now is to sit and lubricate my inside and outside while I hum Juifs errants de Norwège, dites-moi la neige, anciens exilés chers, dites-moi la mer to a catchy little tune until we take the boat out to the Stockholm archipelago, but since I didn't write the words (Arthur did, who stopped writing at my age when I am just about starting) and you can't hear the melody it probably doesn't count as a post, so I'll just hammer down some little ditty of my own, short enough for a scorching day and maybe suitable for beach contemplation, until it's time to go:

This day we share today is of a most peculiar kind:

Eternity in front of it, eternity behind.

Peace out!

Read on:

Guest Blogger: Danielle

Meet Danielle. She is exactly like me. Except totally opposite. And a better dancer.

I was introduced to her by a male friend of mine, who had started talking to her, and suggested that she and her equally pretty cousin should stage a 'catfight and bare-ass spanking' photo session. She rightly thought the idea was ridiculous, but comical, and they got acquainted.

I'm a tough chick that don't catfight, I fight boyz too. I don't scratch, I pull hair though. I have a lot of hair and it's long. It don't get pulled a lot. So I fought this girl, she was blonde I think. Ppl was sayin don't fight her U gonna kill her. This bitch bumped into me and called me a hoe and not say sorry, I grabbed her by the hair and f**ked her up. I killed that bitch.

The BET Awards is Black Entertainment Television that's what it stands for and the BET Awards R ppl who is nominated for who is the best female artist, best male artist, best actress, and performances. I was happy to be involved with something like that, I had a lot of fun.

That sounded funny. My mother is gonna kill me if she see BET Awards cuz what I was wearing.

Alright, I'm a choreographer. We had to be in an Army outfit, I was the only gurl on stage and a lot of boyz. I had to tease em a little, dats why we were dancin like that, and it felt good to dance wit somebody that is kool and I wasn't nervous at all. All the boyz jaws dropped when they saw me. They said I had a nice body.

The funny part about the performance is that when I came out, ppl were starin at me like wwwwooooooowwwwww!!!! Then they never stopped starin at me dancin, especially when I was poplockin, everybody liked that. Ppl say that I'm the best dancer they ever saw and I can't believe that.

When I left I had to go change and I was nervous to walk out cuz boyz were already starin at me sayin I have a nice ass when I was dancin. I was ignoring them so I had to run.

I had a lot of fun that day. I got more performances too, all over the world. I go on tour to Trenton NJ on the 20th so I'm good, but I still practice a lot.

Read on:

Danielle is 16 years old, and this is her first blog post. Every girl enjoys admiration, so don't hold back, but if I see any kind of untoward comment about any aspect of her (you all know the difference), I will naturally seek out the commenter and ram the comment back down the throat. Except for the commenters who actually would enjoy me doing that; I will send the Swedish Gimp, who I met last night, on them. But none of you would give me cause for that, now would you?

Game: Hex Bomb

When even a sweeet schoolmam (and a brilliant writer to boot) asks to see my tits, I realize that I have to comply. I just hope she doesn't bring me to 'Show and Tell'!

However, a nice girl is not supposed to do things like that for free. (It somehow prevents people from buying cows, although I never quite understood how.) So I asked a more professional girl I happened to meet what the proper charge for a simple flash would be. 'Oh, about a hundred dollars' she said, Then she paused, looked me over again, and said 'Or maybe fifty...' Something in her eyes made me decide to charge thirty-five dollars, and donate the money to a worthy cause, although I'm really against charity.

So to check my assets, you need to donate thirty-five bucks to XMLive. You can use your wealth and donate the money from your own pocket by clicking on the heart below 'About Me' in the right column (enter your e-mail address in the donor information, I'll send you an uncovered picture), or you can use your wits and win the money from me.

If you want to try winning the money from me, we'll play a game I used to play sitting or lying down on the rubber door mat in a school I went to. Player 1 (you) uses silver dollars, and player 2 (me) uses golden dollars. We take turns placing coins on the board (i.e. mat), and your objective is to create an unbroken chain of coins in adjacent 'cells' (hexagonal bumps in the mat) between the left and the right side of the board. Mine is to create an unbroken chain of coins between the upper and the lower side of the board. The first one to create the chain wins, and gets all the money on the board.

A winning game for you could look like this:

And a winning game for me could look like this:

You go first, and you need minimum seven coins to create a winning chain. To even out the odds since I play second, I only need minimum six coins, but in reality we'll usually both have to spend a bit more.

So I have covered my topless self with thirty-five golden dollars, which I'll use for the game. (If I win any silver dollars from you, I won't use them to cover myself - just to celebrate.) Win the golden dollars off me to see what I hide underneath! Remember though, it's a very mathematical game and I'm pretty good at it. So far, 21 people have stripped me completely online - but that's a number I expect to see auto-updated next time I check this post.

Play on: