The Shorter the Skirt, the Higher the Kick

Guttural writing and interactive mind games from 'the sweetest girl on the Internet'. No minors or morally outraged, please! ;-)

Diary: Sent To the Corner

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I enjoy attention, support, and compliments as much as the next girl (more, some would say), but there still is a kind of group where I never seem to fit in, even if I try: The Mutual Admiration Societies. This is partly because I'm a bit of a tease; when I'm in a naughty mood, I enjoy infuriating men I meet to the point where their confused fantasies about what they want to do to me seem to fill the room like fog (and in the interest of public health and my own education, I sometimes let them do what they desire) - but there is another, deeper reason too: Total agreement makes me nervous. If we all view the world the same way, we must be missing some other, maybe wonderful, way of seeing things.

This doesn't mean I care for empty contradictions; if you don't have a new, meaningful counterpoint you might as well save your breath until you do. I'm just potentially interested in new perspectives and erratic behavior in any kind of situation. If a kid in a tantrum starts throwing soup cans around in the supermarket I'm inclined to join him for a while before comforting him, to share the experience. To just become part of the frowning majority standing around him makes me feel more small, stupid, and dead than I like to feel. I guess that although I'm a tease, I have very little potential for becoming a bully.

Because of this, I love blog commenting and debating, and I thank everyone taking the time to comment on my stuff, whether you agree with it or not (but especially if you don't and can formulate why), from the bottom of my heart. Any new view on a topic is invigorating, even if it just serves to convince you even more of your former beliefs. Unless you're temporarily in some kind of disciplinary role-playing (and I do my fair share of that), the sentence 'I don't want to discuss it' sounds to me like 'I don't want to live'.

With these rosy cheeks and ambitions, I have managed to get my comments banned from blogs twice in the last 24 hours, and I still don't do that much commenting. Since I believe in communication, I feel terrible that some people get so disturbed by my words that they rather close their ears than hear them, and I am contemplating a proper punishment for myself. (Feel free to leave suggestions in your comments.) At the same time, I can't help but wonder how it happened.

The first case was Martha O'Connor. Apparently, she recently published a book. Always interested in new lit, I read the excerpts. The first one is about Rennie screwing a guy while thinking about her literary agent and her youth, the second is about Cherry talking to her mom, and the third one is about Amy thinking of her friends. Now, I wouldn't try to convince any of you that it was bad, and I urge anyone interested to get a first-hand look, hope you'll love it and get a new, rewarding experience - but to me, the short excerpts (from which it would be totally unfair to judge the whole book) were pretentious descriptions of very small worlds, very far from my own.

Still, that's no skin off my nose; writing a book is a tough and sensitive task which seldom hurts anyone else, and Martha would have gotten nothing but attagirls from me, but her blog was so packed with raving reviews from leading magazines and self-praise I figured she didn't need it. I was about to move on, when I glanced over her latest post at the time, announcing a big big KEE-RAZY contest. In the contest, you could win a signed copy from the collectible first edition of Martha's book if you presented the best article of 250 words or less explaining why high school sucked.

This struck a bit of a bad (well, as bad as they get) note in me. I didn't attend as much of high school as I wish I had back then, partly because of my own emotions and partly because of circumstances beyond my control. After having written a book about her own high school experiences, Martha now wanted people to confirm them and join her lifeless frowning majority, instead of offering their own experiences. Being the girly-girl I am, I vented my frustration with a little joke; I wrote a short comment to the post explaining that I hadn't attended enough high school to enter her contest, but if I instead explained in 250 words or less why her book sucked, was it possible to win a new high school education?

I passed by Martha's blog again a few hours later, checking if she had replied to my little pleasantry. My comment was deleted. This made me feel terrible - I could never imagine that anyone at the height of such success could be offended by my harmless gag. I immediately wrote another comment, apologizing if she had taken my first comment the wrong way, and explaining 'It was just a little joke. Or maybe a little perspective.' By coincidence, I was returned to the blog a third time later that night, so I opened the comments for Martha's KEE-RAZY contest post, and found that my second comment also was deleted. Furthermore, a message at the top of the comment box laconically stated 'Banned by webmaster. Your comments will not be added.'

The second case was when I happened to stumble upon yet another of these raving-lunatic-conservative blogs, for which the need seems to be endless. This one looked mildly amusing, though; every regular poster seemed to have chosen an SF/fantasy nickname, one of them posed dressed as Darth Vader, and so on. So I hung around and read the latest post, describing how some college professor allegedly had said that religious people were 'moral retards'. As a devout Christian, the poster was very upset by this accusation, and expressed his desire to beat the professor 'within an inch or four of his life'. Obviously, I didn't take the post very seriously, and tried to add to the gaiety by posting a comment expressing that beating up the professor definitely would be the moral thing to do.

Then I moved on, but I noticed by accident a while later that my blog started to receive a lot of traffic from the lunatic site. I returned to the site to investigate, and found furious comments about me from a group of posters, all patting each other's backs in perfect agreement. (To be fair: There was the odd dissident too, taking some of the heat stored for me.) Since at least one of the posters had taken the trouble to track back to my blog to find something derogatory to post about me (wouldn't be too hard to find, now would it?), I felt compelled to mildly caution them in a lighthearted way about the dangers of lacking humor and not taking people seriously because of their age, sex, lifestyle or other attributes. This made my still dead serious attackers even more enraged, and I started to feel bad about the whole thing. It was never my intention to start a battle of wits against unarmed men, so I started to mellow things down and bow out - but before I could wrap it up, I was banned. Some found the slanted exchange entertaining; it should still be available here, but if you're a mild and sweet nature like myself you might want to skip this one - there is a lot of cussing and name-calling going on from the wasp nest I accidentally stepped in.

So to all past, present, and future outraged bloggers: Please forgive me for speaking out of turn. Maintaining a noteworthy blog is hard work, and I wouldn't want to make it a bad experience for anyone. If you decide to send me to the corner of your blogs to stand and ponder what a bad girl I am instead of talking to me, you have every right to. Can I please just ask one question before I go: If you are such fragile souls, craving nothing but constant reassurance, I certainly won't judge you - but why do you allow comments from stray cats like me in the first place? Why not start a club, where you all can speak in unison? Or maybe you have already, and just use your blogs for new membership applications? If so: Sorry I didn't fit in. In that kind of clubs, I rarely do.

Read on:

10 bounce-backs:

Anonymous WilG says...,

I'm one of the frothing conservatives. I'm sorry that you caught Spats in a bad mood, but, you are correct, he has a VERY short fuse sometimes.

The Rott gives some of us a place to vent (we think it's part of the charm); We are not really violent, mean brutes, but we do yell sometimes.

Darth Misha I is the site owner.

One of the site moderators (George) is having a word with Spats. I hope you are able to return. Your site is decidedly unusual and amusing; I have bookmarked it, and plan to return.

Blogger Chairman eDog says...,

Yeah, Trix, if you want more calm conservative commentary, try Powerline or Michelle Malkin.

Anonymous George Turner says...,

Well, look at what you said, insolently questioning the obvious Christian morality of beating someone within an inch of their life for daring to denounce the moral and religious authority of the powers that be.

Why back in the Lord's day such people were arrested, tried, flogged to a pulp, paraded through the streets, nailed to a cross, and...

Anyway, where was I.

Oh, yes. As long as they survive the brutal punishment (or get resurrected afterwards) then no harm - no foul, and they'll think twice about publicly berating the authorities or questioning their overflowing benevolence and love.

These days those like you who speak against such justifiably violent punishments are only getting banned, but that's just because Pontius Pilate's dungeons are currently undergoing renovations.

Yes, we are proud Christians, and G-d dammit, we reserve the right to crucify anyone who doubts our commitment to peace and love.

Oops! Gotta run. Orderlies are coming.


Blogger schuey says...,

I tought that I commented on yours last time, but obviously i did not. Had a real laugh, I just don't like the way how you navigate within your site. It's a clicking pain. Hi from Paris

PS: I'm neither conservative nor christian, so no need to visit my little haven... :)

Anonymous E-Man says...,

You've been unbanned by the head "frothing conservative" at "The Rott" and the torches and pitchforks have been put away.

Like wilg said, The Rott, while conservative, is a good place to vent, joke, scream, froth, etc.

Believe it or not, the regulars run the gamut from "hardcore Christian" to "hardcore pagan".

Just giving a heads up and now I'm off for my electro shock therapy.

Mmmmmmmmm. electro shock. It's bliiiiiiiiiss

Blogger sapere aude says...,

Life is too short to worry about it. Enjoy your writing. You don't have to apologize for your sense of humor. peace

Anonymous Christopher says...,

I checked out the conservative site you landed on...Whoah! Rambling Retard Rampage! How can you possibly care what any (meaning ANY) one of them thinks or feels? No wait...I guess you don't... Dammit, your humor always was too sophisticated for me...

Blogger Dixler says...,

close circles of self agreement are not made to discuss or debate any topic wich goes against the members common opinion. Your comments on these blogs were just a waste of time, and I'm quite sure you knew it :) it's easy to understand, it happens in the everyday life.. on the internet is just worst: there's only a keyboard, it's easy to blame on others. I'm not saying that you should shut up and let things go on their own, even with your disagreement, but the most people with strong political/social/religious opinions (such as most conservative IMHO) really do not deserve any debate, since they're not ready to "listen", before speaking. (btw, nice blog.. do you draw yourself those pics on the top of the posts?)

Anonymous Anonymous says...,

The right wing blogs seem as full of imprudent hatred as anything I've seen or heard. It seems sad that you thought of them as being mostly human or tolerant of differences.
Keep on being what you dream of being and ignore the detrius you leave in your wake.
Also don't open any attachements attached to any emails . . .

Anonymous Anonymous says...,

You're one your blog...


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